There used to be a time when an elder put his foot down the whole family would do what he said. If a lonely voice was raised against him there will be sentimental displays and the voice would weaken and die away.

Tamil cinema had many such emotional scenes created especially for the weak hearted spectators.There were thai sentiments, thali sentiments and a rare father sentiment.

They reflected in the every day events also in one form or other. There were as many sentiments as relationships. So there were never a dearth of incidents of angry tantrums with a spicy throw of tears and ‘feelings’. Sons, daughters or wives mutely accepted the words of father or grandfather. A lot of disputes died a natural death with the ‘final’ judgement from them. And that created a peaceful united family though there would be an undercurrent of disappointment.

There was a saying even till a few years ago which goes like this, “if I ask you to jump into a well do so with no questions asked”!

Marriages were fixed by elders and the pair had no chance of seeing each other till the first night! But then the same ‘autocrats’ were very much present when the couple had marital problems and dissolved them as quickly as a strong wind sweeping away the dirt. Here too sentimental displays would be the prime ingredient. But it worked wonders.

While it worked for the harmony of the relationships was it helping in the development of an offspring? Again as a saying goes “nothing grows under a banyan tree”. Does respecting sentiments of elders curtail the enthusiasm to explore and experiment? There were times when boys or girls were never allowed to go away from home be it studies or jobs. Education was stopped if it needed a shift to a far away place. Many accepted even stingy salaries in boring jobs just to stay in the same village

Now times have changed drastically. Education and jobs are the prime concerns for future plans. No sentiment plays or tearful pleading can stop a man or woman from their thirst for knowledge or career. USA, UK, Australia, Singapore... the vast universe is under their feet and they do seem to have reached ‘there’. We hear achievements by the NRIs making news. Businessmen are featuring in Fortune 500s. Scholars make their mark in their fields. While in the past there were one Tagore One Ramanujam one Bose today there are countless ones in every field.

But then there are others whose aim is not quenching the thirst of knowledge but satisfying their hunger for money. These people kick sentiments and family values to the sky and do not think even a second about their family members.

Parents live alone dreaming the impossible day when the fled chicks return to the nest. Wives bring up kids on their own while husbands mint money in a far away foreign land in the pretext of a secure future for the kids. Brothers and sisters live in distant lands with no chance of meeting in the near future. In all these chaos it is better not to worry about the so called grandparents who once ruled the clan!

The nuclear family has further shrunk to the level where protons neutrons and electrons are in different orbits. And they circle around a vacuum aimlessly.

So on second thought is it time to sprinkle a bit of sentiment and autocracy ? Yes, but then who is there to hear your nonsense talks!!